Compassion and Empathy

It was Percy Bysshe Shelley, in his essay A Defence of Poetry, who wrote that empathy is different from and goes way beyond sympathy or pity, and requires well-developed imagination, “the great instrument of moral good.”

There is an emerging science of empathy that is demonstrating that we are actually wired for empathy and compassion, that empathy exists at a neurophysiological level and that we are not just the outcome of a selfish gene. We all have the natural potential for showing empathy or concern to others, and this can be nurtured or crushed by the circumstances of our upbringing. But we need that affection from birth. The development of our mind depends on interactions face to face. Neuroscience tells us that specific brain areas respond to kindness and compassion and there is a correlation between the size of a child’s brain and the attention or neglect he experiences. Children who have not received sufficient care and compassion can feel unlovable, and can be high in self-criticism. In other words our social and developmental psychology is affected by the way we are brought up. This of course gives us a totally different understanding of human nature and has enormous significance for our societies. While our religion might teach us to be compassionate and loving, our upbringing might very well take us away from the possibility of such behavior coming naturally to us. It then needs to be re-learned, nurtured and encouraged. And it should be the religions that are there to bring us back on track.

“Empathy and compassion

To the shame of all the established religions, it has taken a secular initiative to kick-start what the world desperately needs and what the world’s religions pretty much all teach through the Golden Rule; that we should all be loving our neighbors as ourselves, showing compassion for all.

The religions’ historian Karen Armstrong was frustrated that not enough was seemingly being done by the world’s religions to promote their own moral codes of love and compassion. Perhaps this was a fair indictment. Compassion manifests itself in the world, she says, not by thinking but by doing and she wanted to bring compassion back to the very heart of moral and spiritual life. So with the support of the Fetzer Institute and a multi-faith, multi-national council of thinkers and leaders who helped with the drafting, the Charter for Compassion was launched globally in 2009. It is an idea whose time had definitely come.

Compassion literally means ‘to suffer with or alongside’ someone. We identify with you in your suffering; we can show mercy or sorrow with you in your pain. Empathy goes a little further and is the capacity to experience what it is like to be someone else. We can bare our own souls and walk in your shoes to share your suffering. That is true empathy, although the two words are often used interchangeably. Scientifically empathy should not be possible, but it is!"

The Charter for Compassion recently launched an International Compassionate Cities campaign, endorsed by a US Conference of Mayors including Mayor Greg Fischer of Louisville, KY, and the mayors of Columbia, SC; Des Moines, IA; Nashville, TN; Frankfort, KY; Raleigh, NC; and Westland, MI. This initiative, says the Charter, “has the potential to inspire a fundamental shift in our ability to thrive as human beings.” 

Let's go for it. We live in such a beautiful world. Let's all help  infuse it with compassion and empathy in everything that we do. That cannot be bad!

Compassion is not an Option - it's key to our survival.

"Compassion is not an Option - It's the Key to Our Survival"

I love serendipity!

Last night I gave a talk to a small gathering of local Wesley Guild members on the need for empathy and compassion in everything we do - in our economy, our media and creativity, in our communities, in our healthcare and workplace, in the environment in which we live - and yes - in our faiths; all these things I have looked at in some detail in my first book and that was my message: Compassion is not an option. We hope locally to take this message forward - to start our own conversation on compassion. 

Amazingly on the same day I hear that Karen Armstrong is getting set to launch the latest phase in the establishment of her Charter for Compassion - there will be a spanking new website that she will present along with a lecture "What is Religion" to be delivered at Simon Fraser University Center for Dialogue in Vancouver on March 22nd.

You can watch both the lecture and the Charter update live on the Charter for Compassion website 7-9pm Pacific Time. So be sure to tune in.

Because, in Karen's own words; 

"Compassion is not an Option - It's the Key to Our Survival" 

What will you do towards making a more compassionate world?

 

Restorative Justice - The Woolf Within

Am just back from a splendid weekend conference organised by the Scientific and Medical Network on the Science of Empathy, the Spirit of Compassion. I’ve written a piece on my other blog Wisdom of Tolerance already, about the Charter for Compassion that was introduced there by Karen Armstrong, its founder.
We covered so much ground, so much of which is relevant for healing this world. I am preparing a detailed report of the conference for the digital magazine Conscious Connections – for 21st century Cultural Creatives worldwide and will probably come back to this again.

During the weekend a film was shown, The Woolf Within , introduced by Janine Edge, an independent mediator. It made a huge impression on many of us.

I quote: “Peter Woolf was a prolific offender, ensconced in a world of violence and depravity, who, by his own reckoning committed about 20,000 crimes. Then he burgled a house, fought with his victim and ended up in prison yet again. This time though it was different. Peter met with his victim, Will, in a restorative justice session that took place in the prison. The meeting changed both their lives for ever…….”

Do please watch it. Perhaps you now have! What is striking is the compassion that victim and criminal were able to show for each other by the end of the process, despite the obvious difference in their social circumstances. This has to be restorative justice at its best, a lesson for us all in how good can come out of bad in our world.
We are all unique human beings, and all equal, regardless of background, education, color, creed, social circumstances etc. All of us suffer, all of us have the need for compassion from the day we are born to the day we die. Deprive children and youngsters of compassion in their upbringing and they will feel they are unloved, valueless, and marginalized. Through evolution the brain has become highly sensitive to kindness received, Neuroscience tells us that specific brain areas respond to kindness and compassion, Ancient Wisdom tells us that compassion is the road to happiness, and Social and developmental psychology tell us that we are affected by our own history of affiliation – i.e. the relationships we experience in our upbringing. So help people love themselves, then help them to understand the suffering of others, and we can change people and society in profound ways.

Psychosynthesis Made Easy

I'm reading an interesting book at the moment, from O Books new "Made Easy" series, about to be launched at Watkins, the esoteric bookshop in London.

Psychosynthesis Made Easy has been written by Stephanie Sorrell, who trained at the Institute of Psychosynthesis in London and is an Applied Practitioner in the discipline.

This is a short, easy to read volume, ideal for the layman who would like to understand what psychosynthesis is all about. Stephanie illustrates the idea throughout with her own personal life experiences to which many, myself included, will be able to relate. Psychosynthesis, we are told, allows psychology, soul and spirituality to meet on mutual ground.

I was particularly interested in the chapter towards the end of the book linking psychosynthesis with ecopsychology, or eco-therapy. It has been understood since the mid 1900's, Stephanie tells us, that nature has healing power for humans, and that our empathy for the plants and animals we share the planet with is an essential part of our personal well being.
But this of course has a far wider significance for our world, a social significance, as we would surely not damage our world so much with our unsustainable living if we felt a greater empathy for all the life that it contains. And by our thoughtless actions we not only induce climate changes but we damage the very soul of nature that could help us most in our own healing.

"If we do not allow the natural world to speak to us, if we do not let the fierceness give us solace, or the silence reach and heal us, then we can turn our wounds, our own brokenness, against the natural world. And that is what we are doing.
"This powerful source of healing is itself now hurt. Nature has become the docile dog that will savage the child who innocently pokes it in the eye. We are hurting our planet. If we do not act quickly, it may turn on us and destroy us"

These latter sentiments come from my own book, Healing this Wounded Earth, where I write in one chapter of the healing power of nature, and the effect we are having on its fine balance by our present lifestyles, with a call for healing and change. But I further explore the need in some detail for empathy and compassion in all aspects of our lives, at work and at leisure, in our creativity and finances, in our faith and our healthcare, and of course in our relationships and our communities. This must be the future of a better world for us all, and for our children and grandchildren to inherit.

© Eleanor Stoneham 2011

The Golden Rule - Compassion for all

I heard of Karen Armstrong a year or so ago when some one introduced me to her TED lecture Let’s Revive the Golden Rule – given in July 2009. All religions teach the Golden Rule in some form: Do to others how you would wish them do to you, or in the negative version – do not treat others as you would not want to be treated yourself. Both call for compassionate behaviour in everything we do. Let’s take this golden rule and all of us apply it – everywhere, all the time, to everybody. If we don’t do this, and urgently, what sort of a world are we going to have to leave to our children and grandchildren? This is Karen’s message.

What is there to not agree with in this? And yet one third of the comments at You Tube for this video do not agree, or do not like what is said. This ironically is the problem!! We clearly have a long way to go.

Karen is committed to spreading compassionate thinking throughout the world – by educating and stimulating – and that starts with the media, she believes. They can help spread this message.

With TED’s help she has created and launched a Charter for Compassion and now works to propagate this idea. Do sign up to it.

Now the book is out – Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life and has raced up the Amazon charts. Sarah Vine reviewed it in The Times last Saturday 1^st January. In summary, and thank you to Sarah Vine for this – the twelve chapters with the twelve steps, put succinctly, are: Learn about compassion, Look at your own world, Compassion for yourself, Empathy, Mindfulness, Action, How little we know, How should we speak to one another, Concern for everybody, Knowledge, Recognition and finally Love your Enemies.

I have only read a chapter or two so far but hope to post a review on Amazon within a short while, if other books don’t overtake me. (I have a mountain of excellent books all vying for my attention at the moment!). Her message is crystal clear – and why should we do this? Because it will make us happier; it really is that simple. Of course working through the book and following all the advice will require commitment and it is not all going to be plain sailing. But as Sarah Vine concludes, “compassion is the highest of human sentiments; without it we are little more than beasts.”

Compassion

I have just found two items that are absolutely at the heart of what we need most for healing this Wounded Earth;

And that is Compassion!

My first find is the website for Charter for Compassion, calling upon all people to restore compassion to the very centre of morality and religion, for it to be a "luminous and dynamic force in our polarised world." In this selfish Me Millennium we need compassion more than anything else, to restore relationships, to be at the centre of a more just economy and for a more peaceful global community.

And behind Charter for Compassion is Karen Armstrong, whose latest book, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate World, is just being published now. I have ordered a copy and will be reviewing it in the New Year, when I will also write more about that Charter for Compassion.